PolyOS – A technical solution to a common systems problem

I’ve seen the following complaint quite a few times in my years of tech support, and I finally took some time to research the causes and some ACTUAL solutions for this all-too-common set of problems.

*Dear Tech Support: *
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5,
and Racing 3.6 no longer run, causing the system to crash whenever selected.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

Dear Troubled User: *

This is a very common problem that men complain about. **

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to
delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to
uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual
under Warnings: Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and
work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation. **

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway. **

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife
1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. **

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the
only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! **

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

I had the problems above, and after my Wife 2.0 upgrade proved to be costly bloatware that crashed after 2 years, I started to look into the underlying reasons. Being a geek, I figured there must be a reason that most of my versions of Wife or Girlfriend (no matter what the version number) seemed to have so many interoperability problems. It didn’t take long to trace the root cause back the millions of lines of outdated and archaic code in the base operating system, Monogamy™ .95b.

Fortunately, I’ve discovered an alternative in the ‘open source’ community. A few years ago I reformatted my hard drive and installed a trial version of PolyOS. Unlike the Monogamy™ versions I’d used in the past, I soon discovered PolyOS came in a variety of flavours depending on needs. The initial trial version I installed was somewhat buggy, admittedly, but that was at least as often due to my own inexperience as it was the intricacies of PolyOS. One of the primary issues I had with early versions were in interoperability between my various Partner routines, but I soon came to realize that process was made much easier by downloading and enabling Honesty 2.3, a suite of ethics and morality utilities that is VERY hard to find for any Monogamy™ versions.

Now, I’m almost completely stable on PolyOS. My Partner routines easily interact with each other and the rest of my vital functions, and even with my tweaks (another advantage to PolyOS is that the code is all open source and modifiable, unlike the closed and proprietary Monogamy™ systems), it looks like all primary Partner routines will soon be sharing memory space happily. Even better, I’ve found that my PolyOS system EASILY networks with other PolyOS systems, no matter what versions they may be running. Its even possible to network with some Monogamy™ versions (usually only the newest systems), though the process is difficult and time consuming, and often causes internal conflicts within the Monogamy™ subsystems. Total system crashes can result in the remote Monogamy™ systems, so proceed with caution … PolyOS systems are rarely affected by the attempt at networking, but occasionally nasty crashes by Monogamy™ can sometimes transfer glitches to PolyOS as well.

In the end, I’d have to recommend PolyOS. I’ve experienced VERY few problems since the total system upgrade, but I will admit to having to change some basic substructure of my system before getting PolyOS tuned just right, and its worth checking out the system requirements before you start as installing it on a system that doesn’t meet minimum specs can cause serious damage. If you’ve got the hardware for it though, I say take the plunge. Once you install PolyOS, you’ll never want to run Monogamy™ again.

One word of caution … PolyOS is FAR less compatible than Monogamy™ in the general world … Many systems are unwilling to even try PolyOS, regardless of their specs. Trying to install PolyOS on such a system is not recommended under any circumstances.


One Response

  1. Remember, though.. there are some situations in which Wife 1.0 can be run UNDER PolyOS, and therefore it’s a much more enjoyable and entertaining program.

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